The DVD box for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007) quotes Mark S. Allen from CBS/CW-TV: “The best Pirates yet! Epic and amazing.” What movie did he watch? First off, the original Pirates movie is by far and away the best of the three. Second, At World’s End, the third in the trilogy, isn’t that good. It’s long, bloated, full of special effects and ends with a fizzle. That being said, it’s still better than Dead’s Man Chest, which was downright terrible at times.

But this DVD review isn’t about the movie; it’s about the DVD. You can read my full Pirates movie review here. Specifically, this DVD review is about the 2-disc Limited Edition, which, honestly, isn’t that great.

While I didn’t like Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, the DVD was extraordinary, full of hours and hours of in-depth and informative behind-the-scenes featurettes and so on and so forth. This 2-disc limited edition is… shall, we say… limited.

Sure, the box has a lot of things: several behind-the-scenes featurettes, bloopers, deleted scenes and a few other things. That’s all fine and good, and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End offers pretty decent bonus features compared to a lot of other DVDs out there, but for this franchise, people, it ain’t that great. None of the featurettes are all that long, and I got through most of the features in a ridiculously short time - compare that to the hours I spent (wasted?) watching the features for Pirates 2 and that stands out to you.

That being said, the featurettes, as short as they are, do offer a little insight into the film. Those who like Keith Richards will appreciate a few minutes devoted just to him, while there are also sequences that examine the multiple Johnny Depp scene, Chow Yun-Fat’s involvement, the music of Hans Zimmer and so forth. Informative, but too short. Then again, this means I didn’t have to watch more Pirates than I had too.

All in all, fans of the film will probably pick up this 2-disc set anyway, but if you’re expecting features on par with the previous two films, you will be disappointed.

I will resist the southern jokes, and instead just focus on the facts…

Authorities say one Alexander D. Smith, 3, walked into a Clearwater, Georgia bank and attempted to deposit some money into his bank account. He proceeded to curse out the bank teller and was promptly arrested, but disorderly content was not his only charge. As it turns out, stupidity has risen to a new level as Mr. Smith thought that it would be wise to try to deposit one million dollars into his account, something that will raise eyebrows even in Dubai. The real biggie: he only had one bill with him, and it was a one million dollar bill.

What do I say to that? This guy probably walked into the bank thinking he was the cleverest man east of the Mississippi, but maybe if he made it through the first grade he would have learned that the U.S. Mint has never printed anything close to a one million dollar bill.

The picture is of the actual bill the dumbass tried to use. He was also charged with another count of fraud for writing a bad check to buy some cigarettes. Ladies, he’s single! I hope.

I just watched Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), which arrives on DVD today. The movie stars Antwan “Big Boi” Patton, Faizon Love and a few other people fans of rap and R&B (or “The View”) will recognize. I, I’ll admit it, am not into rap, but I do know a good movie when I see one, and Who’s Your Caddy? is about as far away from that as possible.

You can read my full movie review here, but I have to say that Who’s Your Caddy? is actually one of the most racist films I’ve seen in a long time. Sure, it’s about black people and white people getting along (other than the snobby heads of the golf course), but I found several offensive things in the movie, and I’m not one to be easily offended:

• Most of the white people in the movie are depicted as stuck-up racists. This isn’t how all black people view white people, is it?
• All the young white people in the movie aspire to be or look like rappers. Who actually think that most white kids these days find it cool to get grills in their teeth and talk in Ebonics? I know some do, but this is just a ridiculous stereotype, and probably the reason why the rap/R&B industries are struggling right now.
• All the black people in the film are depicted as fun loving, cool but completely inappropriate. When black people go on a golf course, do they proceed to fart, make noises to distract other golfers and look like idiots? I haven’t seen any evidence of this. They act more like hillbillies than millionaires.
• And the movie itself is racist to assume that such low quality entertainment will appear to masses of black people. Maybe I’m wrong, but whether you’re black or white, you have to have better taste than this.

Anyway, that’s my “white” slant on this. Who’s Your Caddy? is a dreadful movie, but it bothers me that Hollywood continues to pump out movies like this. It depicts white people in pretty offensive ways (but no one ever calls the movie on being racist against white people), but more importantly, it’s just embarrassing that black people are depicted this way in almost all black-starring movies. This is just one of many examples where the entertainment industry seems to be strengthening a bad stereotype.

A new trailer for the upcoming movie The Eye, starring Jessica Alba as a woman who regains her ability to see and a whole lot more, is now online. The film is a remake of a Chinese horror movie.

December. It is the perfect month for movies. It is in this month where some of the best movies of the year are released (though for many, they don’t arrive until January). Below is a list of my top ten most anticipated movies of December 2007, in reverse order. These movies may be Oscar contenders, or they may just look entertaining, but they are the films I’m most excited about. Granted, some smaller release pictures may pop up that I can’t anticipate, but take it or leave it.

10. The Bucket List

The Bucket List doesn’t look particularly interesting to me, but you can never rule out the combination of Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman come December. The movie has the chance of being this year’s As Good As it Gets, as it looks to be a blend of comedy and drama. The plot probably involves at least one of the characters dying at the end, but having a blast and hitting on young girls up until that point. The feel good movie of the year? Maybe.

9. Aliens vs. Predator Requiem

I definitely didn’t think this one would ever make any top ten lists. The first Alien vs. Predator was a God-awful, laughable mess, but I have to admit that its sequel, Aliens vs Predator Requiem (what does “Requiem” indicate?), with a different director and different cast, looks a lot better. The movie appears to be a lot grittier, a little more grounded in reality (as much as it can be), and a whole lot bloodier. Unlike the first one, the studio wisely made this sequel R-rated, which means a lot more gore. Aliens, Predators and gore is enough for me… I’m sold!

8. Charlie Wilson’s War

A big Oscar contender lies in Charlie Wilson’s War, a movie starring Tom Hanks as a politician who starts his own war and relief mission. The movie is directed by Mike Nichols, who hasn’t really proven himself as an especially powerful director with a few notable exceptions (The Graduate and Closer) come to mind. More intriguing to audiences will be that the movie is written by Aaron Sorkin, best known for “The West Wing”. The cast isn’t too shabby, either… Hanks, Julia Roberts, Philip Seymour Hoffman and others come to mind… Overall, this has the potential to be very good, though the trailers have been a little underwhelming. While it looks good, is it good enough to be an Oscar contender? That remains to be seen…

7. Cassandra’s Dream

Fans may be tired of Woody Allen films, but Allen has proven that when he stays away from comedy, he can deliver fresh and meaningful stuff. Following Match Point, a movie I consider to be excellent, Cassandra’s Dream is about two brothers (Colin Farrell and Ewan McGregor) who get hired by a relative (Tom Wilkinson) to kill some dude. The movie is a thriller/drama about decisions that can affect the rest of your life. The movie looks dark and relatively gritty, and I’m definitely looking forward to this one.

6. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Love it or hate it? Really good or really bad? This one’s going to be divisive, and is definitely one of the riskier pictures of Tim Burton’s career. Then again, are movies really risky when they look like a Burton film and star Johnny Depp as a really weird and twisted character? It’s been a while since we’ve seen Burton and Depp together, and Depp looking like something closer to his Edward Scissorhand days, and that’s refreshing. Then again, it’s a musical, and that will be a challenge for Burton. Basically, this movie could be really good or really bad, and there’s only one way to find out.

5. The Golden Compass

The movie was heavily promoted over the summer, but since then I really haven’t seen much if any advertisements for this fantasy film, but New Line is certainly looking to capitalize on a lack of fantasy kids films. New Line has to be worried as several films from the same genre have struggled this year, with exception to Harry Potter, of course. The movie looks pretty good, and is one of the few blockbuster-type films this year. Reviews may make or break this one, however.

4. I Am Legend

Will Smith. Action. Sci-fi. It’s a pretty safe bet, even when Smith is the only actor on screen most of the time. The teaser trailer was top notch and quite creepy; the later trailers have revealed the mutated humans (zombies?) to be fast-moving CGI creatures, which have dampened my excitement a little bit. The special effects aside, the movie still looks like a lot of fun, and even if it isn’t a masterpiece, Smith has proven that he can make even so-so movies entertaining (I, Robot comes to mind).

3. Juno

This movie has more Oscar buzz around it than most, and could end up being the Little Miss Sunshine of 2007. My brother has already seen it and says it’s great, and I tend to trust his judgment 95% of the time. The previews are funny and quirky, and considering that there seems to be a real lack of quality comedies right now (Lars and the Real Girl and The Savages being comparable exceptions), this may find both critical and box office success.

2. Atonement

Another film with a lot of Oscar buzz, Atonement has received some great reviews, stars Kiera Knightley (always a plus) and is directed by the guy who brought us the most recent adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, which was surprisingly well done. That combination, served up with another period piece story about two lovers who are betrayed by a jealous young girl, has me intrigued to see exactly what this movie is going to be like. Thus, Atonement is high on my list.

1. There Will Be Blood

This is my personal pick for Best Picture. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but if There Will Be Blood is not worthy of a Best Picture Oscar, I will be disappointed. I realize I’m setting myself up for disappointment here. Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson (Magnolia) and starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Paul Dano (Little Miss Sunshine), the movie looks absolutely stellar. It’s going to be dark, gritty and powerful if I have anything to do with it, and even from the previews it appears there are Oscar nominations in sight for both Day-Lewis and young Dano. At the very least, Dano’s performance could be a break-out one.

Note: Two movies that would appear on this list if not for the fact that they are released in late November, not December, are The Savages (Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman in a comedy-drama) and Awake (a B-grade thriller that happens to look pretty entertaining and star Jessica Alba).

One of our larger contests of recent date, we’re giving away the Get Smart: Complete Collection DVD set, which contains 25 DVD discs and lots and lots of Get Smart action (all five seasons). I’ve never really watched the show as it was before my time, but I hear it’s quite good. Of course, as you know, Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway are starring in a remake/film adaptation of Get Smart in 2008, but nothing is ever as good as the original (okay, not entirely true).

The Emmy-award winning series stars Don Adams as title character Maxwell Smart, which originally aired on NBC from 1965 to 1970. All five seasons are included, as well as ten hours of bonus interviews (including a “new” interview with co-star Barbara Feldon, a.k.a. Agent 99.

The box set has a retail value (at Amazon.com) of $259.00.

Enter the contest now!

This is why I don’t watch live television anymore. After TiVo/DVR technology and DVD, I rarely, if ever, watch live television unless it involves sporting events, and tonight, NBC reminded me why. My roommate and I sat down to watch NBC’s broadcast of The Incredibles, one of the few good movies I don’t already own. Things were going fine, until the movie got within 35 minutes of the ending.

NBC proceeded to jump into two to three minute commercial breaks every SIX F**KING minutes. Literally, ever six to seven minutes (I think they made it up with a five minute stint at one point before I started counting), NBC would launch into a commercial break, completely disrupting the flow of the movie. This, people, is why network stations are struggling so much. They are so focused on their advertisers that they neglect their end customers - the viewers. Sure, NBC has a business to run, but a broadcaster’s job is to deliver quality entertaining, and NBC has clearly forgotten this. Their respect for the viewer obsolete, why should I respect or give my business (i.e. my eyes to their advertisements) to a company that does not treat me with any?

Maybe this explains why every upcoming episode of “E.R.” is the “must see” episode of the season…

I just watched the Unrated Extended Edition of the new Battlestar Galactica: Razor TV movie, which premieres later tonight and will subsequently be released on DVD (which includes deleted scenes, commentary, an examination of the show, a featurette titled “My Favorite Episode So Far” and a sneak peak of Season 4). I haven’t watched any of the special features yet, but have watched the actual movie, which, I have to say, is a bit of a letdown.

I was never really expecting a whole lot from this TV movie, which seems like more of a ploy to make some money and pitch the new season; after all, if it was a legitimate entry in the Battlestar Galactica series, then it would have been the season premiere. Still, considering that Battlestar Galactica is one of the best, if not the best, television shows in recent memory, expectations were high.

Razor is not bad by any means, and it is certainly entertaining, but it suffers from chaotic storytelling and poor focus. It tries to do too much and delivers too little, and the end all you can do is shrug your shoulders and look forward to the actual season premiere in a couple of months. It has plenty of action, but it lacks the depth, intrigue and politics that make Battlestar Galactica so great; without those elements, it just feels like your standard sci-fi television show.

Razor focuses on one new character, Kendra Shaw, a young a woman who rises quickly in the ranks of the Battlestar Pegasus, commanded by Admiral Cain (the bitchy, merciless admiral who took over the fleet in Season Two only to find her life cut short when the Cylon she was torturing broke free - okay, was released - to shoot her in the head). The movie is essentially a flashback episode, and it uses Shaw as a vehicle to see how and why Cain made the decisions she made, and how those decisions reflected on her crew. At the same time, we also get to see some glimpses of the first Cylon War with a young Adama, and some more “modern day” character interactions from when the Pegasus was still in existence.

Razor suffers from a few issues, most of which that it just seems out of place from the rest of Battlestar Galactica. While most of the Galactica characters and actors are involved with this picture, the very fact that its “modern day” is set in the past seems a bit odd - and it’s also sort of confusing. The focus of the story jumps between two many things, from the present day attack on a Cylon ship to the early days on the Pegasus to Adama as a fighter pilot, and none of the storylines tie together as well as the writers were hoping for. The character of Kendra Shaw is also quite disappointing, and seems to serve as more of a tie to connect the modern day story with the flashbacks to Cain’s Pegasus. I was hoping to see a movie that focused solely on Cain and that explains how she came to make tough decisions, but instead Cain really doesn’t get much screen time, and we don’t get to see much we didn’t already know. Furthermore, Shaw herself is an unlikable character, and you never really feel empathy for her.

I also didn’t like that the movie depicted Cain as a lesbian. Why do all tough, badass women in power have to be lesbians? It seems a bit sexist to me, although the lesbian bit does provide an interesting “twist” in a certain relationship (albeit an underdeveloped one).

Again, Razor does feature some good action scenes, and does show us a few things we haven’t seen before, but the whole affair feels like a bloated, watered down version of the regular show. Even the special effects seem slightly off, a little less edgy.

Fans of Battlestar Galactica don’t need to read this review to decide whether to watch Razor or not - they will watch it, as they should. But if you’re using this movie as an entry point into the series, I suggest otherwise: rent the pilot and start from the beginning. Razor does not do the series justice.

From the guy who brought us the awesome Donnie Darko, one of my favorite films of all times, comes Southland Tales, a movie with a few similar themes but one big difference: it sucks big time. Here’s a snippet of my full movie review…

Wednesday night. Eight people. Only four survivors. The emotional toll for those who endured was almost too much to handle.

The situation: Southland Tales, the two-hour, forty-minute Richard Kelly follow-up to the classic Donnie Darko. It was a massacre if I ever saw one, where fifty percent of the audience was shot down, their lives destroyed in an instant. Only it wasn’t an instant. One man, popcorn still in hand, didn’t make an hour, and the three large young ladies who had to sit down right behind me, most likely just to annoy me by talking the entire time (though as it turns out their commentary helped get me through the rough patches), left just before the scene where one SUV humps another SUV. I’d never seen so many people walk out before, but I don’t really blame them: Southland Tales is a mess, and not the fun mess Kelly was shooting for.

I am a big fan of Donnie Darko, and in terms of theme, Southland Tales isn’t that far removed. There are wormholes, time travel and distortion of reality, but how all of that is delivered is so absurd and unruly that it’s nearly impossible to enjoy. Southland Tales is like one of those movies you see in another movie, where some low grade director is trying to make an epic, and when he sits down at the premiere he watches in horror as everyone falls asleep or gets up and walks out. The movie is an epic; it’s just an epic that doesn’t find its identify and isn’t able to engage the audience. It has a message, but without interesting characters or an entertaining plot, Southland Tales falls apart at the seams.

Read my full Southland Tales movie review.

Midnight Eagle, a Japanese import about two journalists who get caught up in a race to retrieve a nuclear bomb, opens today in New York and later in the year in Los Angeles. Overall, the movie is quite good, albeit with a few plot holes.

After an American Stealth Bomber crashes into a Japanese mountain, two journalists set out to discover exactly what happened. With a blizzard brewing, the journalists make their way up the mountain, only to find that they have walked themselves into the middle of a war between Japanese and North Korean soldiers, who want the bomber’s cargo for themselves. All but cut off from the Japanese government, the two men have to face the realization that they may not make it back alive - and that it may be up to them to save millions of Japanese civilians.

Read the full Midnight Eagle movie review…