I like Johnny Depp. He’s a fun, dynamic actor. But ever since Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl put him back on the map, critics and audiences alike have kissed his butt like he is the ruler of the world. Has everyone failed to notice that he has only done two good movies since Blow in 2001?
That’s right, you heard me! Sure, some of his bad movies weren’t THAT bad, but they sure as hell weren’t that good, and some have been downright awful. Here are the good ones:
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black
The idea sounded dreadful from the start, but somehow Disney and Johnny Depp managed to make an entertaining, funny and dark “family” film. A surprisingly good film, especially considering it’s based on a theme park ride.
Finding Neverland
This award-winning drama wasn’t particularly memorable, but was still entrancing while you were watching it.
And that’s it! Two good movies in the last seven years, yet Depp is still as popular as ever. That’s all fine and good, but acknowledge his failures, people!
The bad ones:
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003) This follow-up to one of my favorite action films of all time - Desperado - was supposed to kick ass, but instead it was one of the worst movies ever to grace the silver screen. Depp was dreadful in it, too.
Secret Window (2004)
This movie was good for a while, until the final act killed any chance of it being any good. The final minutes are particularly bad, especially when Depp dons braces.
The Libertine (2004)
Not as dreadful as it was boring, most people probably don’t even know Depp starred in this film - if they even heard of it in the first place.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Another Tim Burton collaboration, this one had the makings of being awesome, except Depp’s portrayal of Willy Wonka came off more like a creepy Michael Jackson than anything else. Again, not horrible, but not very goo, either.
Corpse Bride (2005)
Probably his best of the bad, the only thing wrong with Corpse Bride is that it is no Nightmare Before Christmas. It was mildly entertaining but never very engaging.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)
They should have left it as a sequel. This movie sucked balls.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)
Not quite as bad as #2, this one still also sucked balls.
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007) Quite possibly the worst musical I have seen in a long while. Depp isn’t bad as the title character, and Tim Burton tries, but the story is surprisingly dull and the musical, presumably derived from the play, is terrible and often cringe-inducing.
As the New Year fast approaches and the first week of January 2008 beckons, there are a slew of new pictures out at theaters, some of them good and some of them not-so-good. I’ve seen a lot of movies over the last couple of weeks, and while I haven’t posted reviews for all of these films, I wanted to share what I’ve seen and make recommendations. Keep in mind that this time of year I am most interested in seeing dark and depressing pictures (Atonement) rather than mindless entertainment (National Treasure), and that I will generally avoid chick flicks (P.S. I Love You).
Here are the movies you should see:
Atonement The best movie of 2007 so far, though I’m still holding out hope for There Will Be Blood…
Juno Funny and oddly powerful, this will have females going “awwwww…” (seriously, there were several) and guys cracking up. Also has a potential Oscar winner starlet in the form of Ellen Page.
No Country for Old Men Still one of the front runners for Best Picture of the Year. An awesome thriller, even if the ending stumbles a bit…
I Am Legend If you want mindless entertainment, go see this one. Some people haven’t liked it, but it’s a tense thriller, at least until the final act. Will Smith is also great in it.
American Gangster This one is still playing in many theaters, and while it doesn’t blow one away, it’s still quite good.
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead Impress people by seeing movie slightly off the beaten path. Luckily, it’s still a pretty slick crime drama.
The Golden Compass It is a bit rushed and could have benefited from a better director, but if you don’t mind anti-Christian themes, The Golden Compass is a lot better than what critics give it credit for.
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets I can’t believe I’m putting this one on my list, but despite the fact that it sometimes doesn’t make much sense or isn’t even slightly plausible, going in with low expectations meant that I actually found this one pleasingly entertaining.
Movies I haven’t seen but plan to shortly (because I hear they’re good)
Charlie Wilson’s War
The Great Debaters
The Kite Runner
The Savages
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Movies to avoid at all cost
Sweeney Todd
Yeah, this one just sucked. I like musicals, but no one told me that Sweeney Todd was going to be a boring movie with some of the worst music I’ve ever heard in my life.
Fred Claus I didn’t see this movie, but it just looked bad.
Sorry about the broken links over the last day and a half. The problem is resolved and we don’t see any major issues forthcoming. Thanks for your patience!
I hadn’t heard anything one way or another about the new season of Lost (Lost: Season 4), but it looks like Lost is arriving on TV as planned on January 31, 2008. Having written that sentence, I looked up the show on Wikipedia and found that Lost has indeed been hit by the writer’s strike - which means we get an eight episode season. This was the same trouble that the show ran into last year, so we’ll see how it fares. What is unclear is whether the other eight episodes that have not yet been filmed will appear at a later time, or if the writers - when they return - will simply shorten the three 16-episode remaining seasons by eight.
Anyway, the preview for Lost: Season 4 is now online, and I must say it’s quite impressive. After not liking the season three finale all that much, I’ve grown to appreciate it a lot more over the last few months. Obviously the writers have something clever up their sleeves, and, as it is quite clear, the rescuers aren’t Heaven-sent as the survivors think they are.
Don’t piss this referee off. Hell, you better be on your best behavior.
According to Reuters, a soccer referee in Malaysia pulled a gun and fired it into the air after issuing a red flag to one of the players - a suspension that cause several unruly players to get even more unruly. After the man was “attacked” for the call, he ran to his car and grabbed his service revolver. After all, he’s also a cop.
Officials have arrested the referee on tentative charges of unlawful discharge of a weapon, and are also holding several of the players on possible rioting charges.
Not an incredible story, but certainly a funny one. After all, I always thought the red card was the most serious punishment you could receive in a soccer game. Malaysia decided to add a new tier.
According to an AP article, Chet Fitch (not the random guy in the picture) is one awesome dude. Or he was, before he died in October at age 88. The old guy, known as a joker/prankster, decided to freak out some of his closest friends and family this Christmas by sending them Christmas cards from beyond the grave. This month, 34 cards were sent out, hand written by him with a return address of - you guessed it - “Heaven.”
The greeting read:
“I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. At first he said no; but at my insistence he finally said, ‘Oh well, what the heaven, go ahead but don’t terry there.’ Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain.
“Better get back as Big Guy said he stretched a point to let me in the first time, so I had better not press my luck. I’ll probably be seeing you (some sooner than you think). Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch”
Apparently, Fitch had been working on this prank for two decades with his barber, Patty Dean, who says he paid her whenever postage rates went up and continued to add to the mailing list as he saw fit. This fall, he told her: “You must be getting tired of waiting to mail those cards. I think you’ll probably be able to mail them this year.” He proceeded to die a week later.
I think this puts to rest the debate of whether it’s good to know about your death ahead of time. This is one of the coolest things I’ve ever heard.
As you may or may not know, the FilmJabber Blog is a part of the bigger movie website Movie-Source.com, a massive database of nearly every mainstream movie from 1995 and up. You may have noticed that there have been less blog posts and movie updates over the last week or so, and that’s not entirely due to the holidays…
We’re in the process of developing and finalizing several exciting new features or improvements that will help bring these brands together and provide a much more cohesive experience. Keep checking back, as these big changes are coming soon…
I recently got my hands on Rush Hour 3, a movie I normally would have seen in theaters had it not looked a bit dull at the time. A relatively big fan of the first two Rush Hour movies, I’ve found the franchise to be entertaining, even though I have been thoroughly frustrated with the watered down action for Jackie Chan in his American releases.
Rush Hour was fun. While I was never a big Chris Tucker fan, the pairing of Tucker and Chan is a surprisingly good one, even if Tucker acts and sounds like a complete idiot. The action in this one isn’t great, but the movie is fun and certainly worthy of a sequel.
Rush Hour 2 flipped the scenario and landed Tucker in China, which is a bigger fish-out-of-water story than in the first movie (Chan in the United States). There are a lot of good gags in this one, and the action is a bit better. The presence of beautiful Zhang Ziyi also put this one a notch above the first Rush Hour.
Rush Hour 3 is exactly like the second two, only this time the two characters are both out of their element in France. There’s nothing remotely unique about this movie, and everything, from the character relationships to the action to the comedy to acting, seems less interesting. While not a disaster by any means, it just doesn’t have the spark it needed.
Wow. I just watched The Heartbreak Kid, starring Ben Stiller and directed by the Farrelly brothers, and it is one disaster of a film. Could The Heartbreak Kid be the unfunniest movie of 2007? I think it’s quite possible. There have been less entertaining films this year, but The Heartbreak Kid is the most mainstream movie to make so little of its ingredients.
Does anyone else think that Ben Stiller is no longer funny?
Now that Sopranos, Deadwood, Carnivale and several other classics are retired for good, I have been considering canceling my HBO subscription to save a few bucks. However, each time I consider that move, I think of The Wire, the absolutely sensational cop drama the station has flown under the radar for several years. And, guess what? On January 6th, The Wire returns for its final season…
I like Johnny Depp. He’s a fun, dynamic actor. But ever since Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl put him back on the map, critics and audiences alike have kissed his butt like he is the ruler of the world. Has everyone failed to notice that he has only done two good movies since Blow in 2001?
