I love a good movie as much as the next person. In fact, my favorite hobby hinges on the fact that there are good movies out there. But, as a self-proclaimed critic, the best movies for writing reviews are the bad ones. What can one say about Schindler’s List without going into a fluffy tirade of prose about how good it is, when the reader, for the most part, just wants to hear, “This movie rocks?” No, it’s the bad movies where the real meat is, where the reviewer can unlock his deepest, pent-up aggressions toward sloppy filmmaking and unleash, narrowing in on the direct causes that contributed to a picture’s downfall.

And in 2008, just like any year, there were a fair amount of movies that allowed me to play mean. At the same time, 2008 marks a continuing improvement on my part to avoid the movies I know are bad. One summer, way back when I was in high school, I went and saw just about every movie that came out – in theaters, no less – even if I knew they were going to be horrible. I was obsessed. I even backtracked to 1995 to see just about anything that had been released, just so that my database could be complete. When I could have been watching the classics of the century, I was instead watching some crappy movie from ‘97 that I knew was going to be bad.

One should not pay too close attention to reviews, because everyone has their own tastes and the more movies a critic watches, the more cynical he or she becomes. Nevertheless, there are movies that you don’t need a critic to tell you that they’re going to suck. And those are the movies I’m starting to weed out of my obsession, so I can focus on other important things, like my day job, friends, family and perhaps finding a girlfriend one of these days. (more…)

The Oscar nominations are out, but with the amount of fine performances this year, it didn’t seem right to condense things down to a top ten list. A combination of both the best leading and supporting actors, here are the best male performances of 2008:

1. Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
   Mickey Rourke and Sean Penn are so neck-and-neck for the top spot I continue to waver between the two. However, a perfect example of why Oscar-potential films come out near the end of December in limited release, I lean toward Rourke for two reasons: 1) I saw his performance a couple weeks ago versus two months ago for Penn’s, so the memory is stronger in my mind at this moment, and 2) Rourke’s comeback out of practically nowhere has to count for something considering that Penn has so many opportunities at Oscar gold.
2. Sean Penn, Milk
   Penn epitomizes Harvey Milk and completely disappears into the role. He is one of the most consistent actors in Hollywood, but I’ve almost grown complacent to this fact. Almost.

(more…)

Action movies. Below are the best action movies of 2008, based on a combination of overall quality, intensity of the action and overall entertainment value. Action-comedies such as Tropic Thunder didn’t quite make the list, though Pineapple Express almost made it. Without further ado, here are the best action movies of 2008:

1. The Dark Knight
   This is a gimme. Even though it isn’t a straightforward action film, The Dark Knight is intense from beginning to end. It rarely lets up, and there are some amazingly memorable action sequences, most notably the car/truck chase scene that results in Batman flipping a semi on its top. I don’t think I need to explain myself further.
2. Iron Man
   Before there was The Dark Knight, there was Iron Man. The film reigned the box office and critical arena for two months before DC finally upended Marvel, but that shouldn’t diminish the surprisingly high quality of the Jon Favreau film. Despite great previews and a lot of buzz, I was skeptical as to whether a director who had never handled a large budget could make a movie about a tin man work, but my skepticism vanished quickly. Strangely, the movie doesn’t have as much as action as one would expect (I so wish that Afghanistan attack would have gone on for longer), but it still has the perfect bland of thrills, laughs and visual effects. Of course, it took Robert Downey Jr. to take the character to the next level. (more…)

Here are my top ten movies of 2008. This is one of the strangest lists I’ve assembled in years, as it includes a unique blend of comic book action, animated robots, a drinking beverage and a vampire – and no where to be found are the Nazis. Without further ado…

1. The Dark Knight
   I am not one of those people who usually put action movies in their top ten lists. I like dramas. I especially like depressing dramas. I love action films, too, but when it comes to the best films of the year, they rarely rank well. 2008 was an exception for two reasons: 1) the year, in general, was weak. There were some hilarious comedies and some great action movies, but few absolutely stunning dramas. In other words, there were no There Will Be Blood’s this year. This opens the door for… 2) one of the most amazing action films ever made. No, The Dark Knight is not the best action film out there – in terms of your typical action movie. However, few films manage to transcend the genre and deliver drama, suspense, crime and action in such a seamless, brilliant format. Christopher Nolan really outdid himself, and it is unlikely we’ll see another comic book movie top this one anytime soon, if ever. Oh yeah, and Heath Ledger is halfway decent in the movie, too.
2. The Wrestler
   If not for The Dark Knight, this one would be #1. Well, duh. The Wrestler is an incredible piece of work, a movie that is entertaining, dramatic, powerful and sad all at once. Darren Aronofsky, who was once rumored to direct the next Batman film, comes back down to earth after the strange The Fountain to direct his most normal film yet, but the director elevates an otherwise simply story to another level. The film looks great, but it’s Mickey Rourke’s performance that makes the picture worth it. With incredible acting, superb direction and stellar screenplay, it’s a real shame that The Wrestler isn’t getting honored with more Oscars – but leave it to the Academy to ignore great films. (more…)

Every year, there are movies that we just really want to see, that promise to be explosive or intriguing or captivating. Or just plain fun. And every year, there are movies that you expected great things from that just fail to deliver. They may not be terrible, but they weren’t as good as you were hoping or knew that they could be; they may be movies that you didn’t expect to be great but should have been decent – but were just plain bad. These are those movies: the most disappointing movies of 2008.

Note that “disappointing” is different from “bad” or “worst.” Some of the movies on this list are just plain bad (The Happening), and most of them aren’t that great, but there are a few on here that I would watch again – they just simply didn’t live up to expectations. The higher up the list they are, though, the more they disappointed.

Without further ado… (more…)

“Worst movies of XXXX” are always hard to do because, naturally, one tends to avoid the really crappy movies. But for someone like me, who does tend to watch more movies than anyone should in their right mind, a few bad movies slip through… sometimes by surprise (Son of Rambow), and sometimes out of utter curiosity (The Love Guru). So, as best as I can gather from personal experience, here are the worst comedies of 2008:

1. The Love Guru
   There’s no real question as to which movie would top this list. Mike Myer’s attempt at humor was just as unfunny as the previews suggested. The movie is offensive on many levels and the screenplay is as bad as it gets. Mike Myers himself is downright terrible, using silly accents to no effect other than to show that he should never fake an accent ever again. Don’t make my mistake and watch this out of curiosity – it really is that bad.
2. College Road Trip
   I’ve never liked Martin Lawrence, but put him in a G-rated Disney film called College Road Trip and you’re asking for trouble. This road trip film features equally bad performances by Lawrence and co-star Raven-Symoné, but the screenplay and story is embarassing. (more…)

2008 was a good year for comedies, and this coming from a guy who rates comedies as the least desirable genre. I actually do really enjoy comedies, but I like action flicks and depressing dramas much, much more. But in the absence of really great dramas, this genre rose up to truly deliver….

1. In Bruges
   Most people haven’t seen this movie, but it is certainly worth it. Unlike the four or five movies that follow on this list, In Bruges may not be the non-stop laughfest, but it comes pretty close. More importantly, it is a unique and surprisingly excellent drama-comedy that features Colin Farrell bashing the poor town of Bruges for two hours, getting overly excited about cracked-out midgets and telling fat Americans that they can’t climb up some steep stairs. OK, so that explanation does the comedy absolutely no justice, but this is a movie that blew me away in more ways than one.
2. Role Models
   Based on the previews, who could have seen this one coming? Role Models flew in under the radar, looking like a decent but generic comedy starring Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott. But from the first minute, Role Models is a consistently funny and vulgar picture that has a surprising amount of heart and more laughs than you’ll know what to do with. (more…)

2009 is almost upon us, and with it comes another year of hopeful movies looking to stretch the box office, entertain audiences and, in most cases, also appeal to critics. Some will exceed expectations, and some will fail miserably. It’s impossible to tell at such an early stage, but here are 25 movies that one must see in 2009. Of course, most of these movies have already released trailers of some form or another – there are plenty more that may be better but have yet to reveal their goodness to us fans.

1. Star Trek
   A few years ago, the Star Trek franchise was nearly obliterated when they decided to release the film right around the time that a small indie flick called The Lord of the Rings was playing. Now, J.J. Abrams, the man behind Alias, Lost and Cloverfield, looks to resurrect the franchise by appealing both to Trekkies and non-fans alike. This movie is risky, as it looks to recreate the universe from the ground up without completely offending fans, but even skeptics are anticipating this action-packed sci-fi epic.
2. Watchmen
   Another sci-fi epic comes to theaters in March (assuming the Fox lawsuit gets settled), marking the first adaptation of what is widely considered the best graphic novel of all time. From the man who brought us the excellent Dawn of the Dead remake and 300, Watchmen involves superheroes, amazing special effects and a dark, apocalyptic story. The trailers have been absolutely phenomenal, and fans are rabid to see this picture. Whether it will appeal to wider audiences is still to be determined, but this one looks like an early blockbuster. (more…)

In the last few years, people have grown accustomed to superhero movies with amazing special effects, great actors and serious storylines, resulting in films that range from great (X-Men 2) to downright superb (The Dark Knight).

But, for every good comic book movie, there are several bad ones, and Yahoo! has compiled a list of the 20 worst comic book movies ever made. I usually don’t always agree with their lists, but they’re pretty spot on with this one, as it ranges from Supergirl (I liked it when I was younger, but having watched it clearly, I was just a horny young boy who could completely overlook a terrible movie for a red miniskirt) to Steel (Shaq, remember this one?) and Elektra (oh, Jennifer Garner, how can someone so hot make something so bad?).

Go here to check out Yahoo!’s list.

Some other notably bad ones that make the list are:

• The Crow: City of Angels. I loved the first one, but absolutely hated this one. How badly? I gave it an “F.”
• Catwoman. This one was a bad idea from the start, but when you completely change the formula and put Halle Berry in an absolutely ridiculous outfit, you’re asking for bad reviews.What’d I give this one? An “F.”
• Ghost Rider. I also gave this Nicolas Cage-starring picture an “F.” Having a character with a flaming skull as a head was never a good idea to make into a movie, and this proved it.

Of course, there are a few movies that I completely disagree with:

• It may not be great, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II is one of my favorite films from childhood.
• Judge Dredd. I haven’t watched this one in a long time, so maybe I’ll agree now, but I rather liked this Sylvestor Stallone action flick. Not great, again, but entertaining.

Personally, I would have put Spider-Man 3 on the list. I guess it’s not as bad as the ones listed above, but in terms of expectations, it was a real disappointment.

It’s already December. Can you believe it? I can’t. Since you don’t have anything better to do, you might as well go out to theaters and check out some of the exciting new movies that are being released (or have already been released). Below is my list of must-see movies for December 2008:

1. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
   It could end up being dull and boring, but this David Fincher film has the potential to be spectacular. The marketing has been tremendous, and there are few, if any, films that I want to see more this holiday season. The movie is about a man who is born old (he’s a baby, but otherwise looks like an old man) who ages backwards. Partway through his life, he reunites with a woman (Cate Blanchett) he knew as a child. It’s a risky film for many reasons, but if the previews are any indication, this one has gold spraypainted all over it.
2. Slumdog Millionaire
   This one was released in November, but most people won’t have had a chance to see this film just yet. Directed by Danny Boyle, this visually stimulating film is currently the frontrunner for Best Picture. Having just watched it, it is certainly one of the best movies of the year, though it will be interesting to see how it compares come January. The movie is about a young man who is suspected of cheating as he nears the final, 50-million rupee question on India’s version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” because he grew up in the slums without education. The movie recaps his life and his dedication to find his long lost “girlfriend.”
3. Milk
   Sean Penn is perhaps a lock for Best Actor with his performance as openly gay politician Harvey Milk, if critics have anything to say about it. The Gus Van Sant movie is selling out theaters across the nation (as of right now it’s only playing in 40+ theaters nationwide), and looks to be a not-so-sleeper hit. I will be seeing this one as soon as I can.
4. Doubt
   Philip Seymour Hoffman, Meryl Streep and Amy Adams in the same movie? Awesome. The Pulitzer Prize-winning novel is brought to the big screen in the form of a subdued boiler of a drama, about a hardcore nun who suspects that a younger, more liberal priest is sexually abusing boys at the Catholic school where they reside. This one has Oscar potential written all over it.
5. The Day the Earth Stood Still
   Say what you will about Keanu Reeves, but doesn’t he seem like the perfect choice to play an emotionless, monotone alien who is inhabitating a human body to warn of impending doom? Purists may not like the angles the remake have taken, but in a December all but devoid of blockbusters, this one looks like good popcorn fare. The presence of ever-hot Jennifer Connelly doesn’t hurt, nor multiple scenes of the world being destroyed. And no, the movie is not directed by Roland Emmerich.
6. The Wrestler
   Frankly, the previews haven’t been anything to scream about, but The Wrestler, and star Mickey Rourke in particular, is receiving some rave reviews. Call it a comeback or whatever, but Rourke is currently a frontrunner for Best Actor, and that’s never something that should be ignored.
7. The Reader
   I just caught the preview for this last week, and was pretty impressed by what I saw. The movie is about a boy who has an affair with an older woman (Kate Winslet, who seems to like to have sex in movies) only to find out that this Hanna is an accused Nazi criminal. Sex, drama and a Nazi trial always make for qualtiy entertainment. Ralph Fiennes also stars.
8. Australia
   This Baz Luhrman film was released in November, but judging by the small opening weekend, few people went to see it. An epic romance set in the land down under, the movie stars Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman as an unlikely couple who have to protect an aboriginal child from being taken from the government, fight off a monopolistic cattle herder and survive an attack by the Japanese. Australia doesn’t fire on all cylinders, but it is still one of the better movies of 2008.
9. Revolutionary Road
   Sam Mendes, the director of American Beauty, returns with Titanic alumns Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio in this romantic drama. I’m assuming more happens than what is shown in the rather disappointing trailer, and I still have high hopes simply given the talent involved in the picture. This could end up being Oscar bait, even though it looks pretty routine.
10. Valkyrie
    It could be bad, it could be good, no one knows. In fact, there are probably Vegas bets going on about this Tom Cruise thriller as I write. Amidst controversy and a release that was potentially moved back in 2008 just to avoid the bad PR it received when the studio pushed it into 2009 (essentially saying that the movie wasn’t good enough to contend for awards), Valkyrie looks pretty entertaining. Furthermore, the lack of German accents hurts this Nazi assassination film. Nevertheless, one should never underestimate Brian Singer (X-Men 2, The Usual Suspects), nor Tom Cruise. Despite what you think of the man, he rarely does bad movies.
11. Frost/Nixon
    David Frost takes on Richard Nixon in the new Ron Howard film, and while Howard has faltered in recent years, he should never be underestimated come award time. Frank Langella plays Nixon, and Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen, stars as Frost. I can’t say I’m particularly excited about this one, but I’ve seen some good reviews so this one is definitely on my radar.
12. Gran Torino
    I don’t think anyone had even heard of Gran Torino up until a month or two ago, but so it goes with Clint Eastwood. The movie doesn’t look incredible and certainly doesn’t have the Oscar appeal that Changeling had (up until the mixed reviews started flowing in), but I’m just excited to see Eastwood holding a gun again. Yes, Dirty Harry is back! Only not really.
13. Marley & Me
    When I saw the teaser for the film, which showed Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson running after a cute little puppy, I scoffed, but having seen the full trailer, I must admit that this film looks pretty funny. Unless my mom drags me along to see it, I probably will wait until video, but in a month surprisingly devoid of children’s movies, Marley & Me looks to be the first entertaining dog movie in years.
14. The Spirit
    Fans who have been desperately waiting for Sin City 2 – or who can’t wait until March for Watchmen – will have to settle for The Spirit, a movie that looks like a not-so-good version of, you guessed it, Sin City. Using the same painted special effects, The Spirit is based on a graphic novel and stars a slew of big actors, from Samuel L. to Scarlett Johansson. However, this movie marks the solo directorial debut of Frank Miller, and as good as he is at inventing stories, I am not so sure he can guide a camera without the assistance of Robert Rodriguez. The trailers also aren’t as interesting. Then again, I’m curious.
15. Bedtime Stories
    I doubt that this movie will be all that good, but this kiddie film, with a bit of Adam Sandler humor, could be this year’s Night at the Museum. The movie runs along a similar vein, and looks like mindless entertainment. At the same time, I can’t imagine too many parents are going to be crazy about taking their kids to see an Adam Sandler film, even if it is only rated PG. And Sandler fans don’t want to see a watered down Sandler. Hmm.

Movies that are being released in December that you probably won’t see

Unless you live in Los Angeles or New York, you may not get to see any of these films until January or later, but that doesn’t mean they’re not worth mentioning:

• Defiance
  James Bond… er, Daniel Craig stars alongside Jamie Bell and Liev Schreiber in Defiance, a WWII action-thriller from the director of The Last Samurai. The movie is about a band of brothers (no, not that band of brothers) who take hundreds of Jewish refugees into the woods to protect them from the Nazis. Death and more war ensue. The movie looks like a great blend of action and drama, and if it’s not up to Oscar standards, it sure looks like it will be a blast to watch. Unfortunately, it doesn’t come out until December 31st, and only then in limited release. Look for a wide release in early January.
• Che Part 1: The Argentine/Che Part 2: Guerrilla
  I only put these on the list because the Steven Soderbergh two-parter has a lot of Oscar potential (at the very least, for star Benicio Del Toro), but both are only receiving a one-week limited run for award contention. Most people will not be able to see these until January, if not later.
• Dark Streets
  This limited-release movie may not make it everywhere, but the catchy trailer has my attention. The film looks like a seedy Moulin Rouge, full with music, murder and more. Beyond that, I’m not quite sure what it’s about, but I’m intrigued.

Movies that didn’t make this list

A few notable movies failed to make this list for a variety of reasons. Yes Man, the new Jim Carrey film, looks absolutely dreadful in my opinion (it’s like an unfunny Liar Liar), and while one should never underestimated Will Smith, Seven Pounds just doesn’t look that interesting to me. Punisher: War Zone is not included in part due to its 18% rotten rating on RottenTomatoes.