Ah, there’s nothing like week-old news. It’s sort of the reason I don’t read newspapers anymore; by the time I read them, I’ve usually already read the stories somewhere else online.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to report on every movie announcement that comes out in a week like some blogs do; a full-time job and personal life have that effect. But I do have an opinion, and sometimes I just have to share… (more…)

They make out with some cash, that is. The Hollywood Reporter is saying that sexy starlets Odette Yustman and Amber Heard will star in the remake of a 1970 British thriller. The film, And Soon the Darkness, is set in Argentina – where it will be filmed – and follows “two girls from America who take a bike-riding trip in a far off part of the country. Eventually one of them goes missing and the other must find her before it gets dark.”

I don’t have anything beyond that to report – I just wanted to do some researching on Odette Yustman and Amber Heard pictures. From the sounds of it, they will not be making out in the film.

Amber Heard will soon be featured – rather naked, I might add – in the upcoming film The Informers.

Along with the announcement that Disney was going to release all of their new CGI-animated cartoons in 3D format came the horrifying revelation that for some God-awful reason, Disney and Pixar were going to make Cars 2. It’s sad to think that Pixar is going to devote its time to making a sequel of its worst movie EVER when they could spend time focusing on new and original content, which is their strong selling point among animated producers.

Here are five reasons why the Cars 2 movie will suck:

1. The original Cars was awful. It was boring, slow, unimaginative, not funny and lacked exciting animation.
2. The world of cars is a limited one.  The first one featured some uninteresting racing action and attempted drama, which is about as much as you can get out of a car movie about talking cars. The original Cars used up everything you could possibly imagine in the first ten minutes of the movie.
3. Cars can’t show emotion. As seen in the first one, it’s hard to show emotion, expression and so on and so forth with a bunch of cars. Let’s just say no one wanted to see the love scenes and no one cared.
4. This is a weak reason why the movie will suck, but Brad Lewis is directing the film. He produced Ratatouille, one of Pixar’s best movies, but he has never directed a movie in his life.
5. The original Cars movie sucked. Did I already say that?

Frankly, I’m bummed that I will have to see previews for a sequel. Stupid Disney! Stupid Disney!

There’s good news and bad news about the upcoming finale to the Harry Potter franchise, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:

The good news is that the Los Angeles Times is reporting that the movie is being split into two movies, the first to be released in November 2010, the second in May 2011. I truly feel this is not simply to capitalize on an extra $400 million worldwide – the book was massive, and to remove much if any of it to fit into a two-and-a-half hour movie would be a travesty. Now with 4-6 hours to play with, Warner Brothers can create an epic two-part movie series… Of course, the first half of the movie is going to be immensely frustrating, just like Kill Bill: Vol. 1. That is going to be an agonizing six months, let me tell you.

The bad news is that David Yates is signed on to direct these films. Does Warner Brothers really think this guy can handle the epic finale to the Harry Potter franchise? He already did a piss poor job on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; why would Warner Brothers hire the crappiest director of all the Harry Potter movies to do the last four, and subsequently most important, films in the franchise?

If Yates ruins Harry Potter, I will be massively upset.

OK, I know the blog title doesn’t make any sense, but I’m tired so leave me alone! Paul Dano, according to The Hollywood Reporter, will star in and executive produce Gigantic, a movie which is describes as “an offbeat romantic comedy being helmed by first-time director Matt Aselton.”

Dano, who is best known for his popular roles in Little Miss Sunshine and There Will Be Blood (both Oscar nominees for Best Picture), will co-star with Zooey Deschanel. Paul Dano will play a mattress salesman and Deschanel a young woman he meets at the store. The screenplay is written by Aselton and Adam Nagata.