The Associated Press is reporting that an actor who played a minor role in the upcoming Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has died after being stabbed to death. Eighteen-year-old Rob Knox was killed when he got involved in a fight outside a bar. Allegedly, a 21-year old suspect, who has been taken into custody, pulled a knife and stabbed Knox to death.

Knox played Ravenclaw student Marcus Belby in the new Harry Potter movie. The article does not indicate whether Belby already filmed his scene, though, with the movie set to release in less than six months, one would assume that he had.

Fourteen teenagers have been violently killed in London since the beginning of the year.

Yes, this is a true news story. My friend Cassandra sent me this Yahoo! article about a woman who decided to sit on a toilet for two years. For these two years, her skin continued to grow to the point where her butt became physically glued to the seat and her legs “atrophied”.

The 35-year old woman from Ness City, Kansas decided one day that she didn’t want to leave her bathroom, so for some reason her boyfriend decided he’d bring her food and water every day. According to him, he’d ask her to come out every day, but she always refused. Is she mentally ill or disabled? That’s yet to be determined. Did her boyfriend keep her there? Police are considering pressing charges, but as Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple says, “She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body.  It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself.”

The woman’s skin had grown around the toilet seat. “We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”

This is just a really weird case. I can’t even imagine sitting in one place for two years. Even the most mentally disabled person capable of moving their own body would become fidgety after a short while, let alone a span of years. How could you sit there for years and let a toilet seat grow around your ass? And why would the boyfriend not call anyone sooner? I just don’t get it.

I am so doing this when I die…

According to an AP article, Chet Fitch (not the random guy in the picture) is one awesome dude. Or he was, before he died in October at age 88. The old guy, known as a joker/prankster, decided to freak out some of his closest friends and family this Christmas by sending them Christmas cards from beyond the grave. This month, 34 cards were sent out, hand written by him with a return address of – you guessed it – “Heaven.”

The greeting read:

“I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. At first he said no; but at my insistence he finally said, ‘Oh well, what the heaven, go ahead but don’t terry there.’ Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain.

“Better get back as Big Guy said he stretched a point to let me in the first time, so I had better not press my luck. I’ll probably be seeing you (some sooner than you think). Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch”

Apparently, Fitch had been working on this prank for two decades with his barber, Patty Dean, who says he paid her whenever postage rates went up and continued to add to the mailing list as he saw fit. This fall, he told her: “You must be getting tired of waiting to mail those cards. I think you’ll probably be able to mail them this year.” He proceeded to die a week later.

I think this puts to rest the debate of whether it’s good to know about your death ahead of time. This is one of the coolest things I’ve ever heard.

I will resist the southern jokes, and instead just focus on the facts…

Authorities say one Alexander D. Smith, 3, walked into a Clearwater, Georgia bank and attempted to deposit some money into his bank account. He proceeded to curse out the bank teller and was promptly arrested, but disorderly content was not his only charge. As it turns out, stupidity has risen to a new level as Mr. Smith thought that it would be wise to try to deposit one million dollars into his account, something that will raise eyebrows even in Dubai. The real biggie: he only had one bill with him, and it was a one million dollar bill.

What do I say to that? This guy probably walked into the bank thinking he was the cleverest man east of the Mississippi, but maybe if he made it through the first grade he would have learned that the U.S. Mint has never printed anything close to a one million dollar bill.

The picture is of the actual bill the dumbass tried to use. He was also charged with another count of fraud for writing a bad check to buy some cigarettes. Ladies, he’s single! I hope.

This isn’t movie news, but this is local news for me… local news I can’t help but share with my readers. Down in Tacoma, Washington, a man found himself frustrated by the fact that he couldn’t get the last lug nut off one of his tires of his Lincoln Continental, so much so that he decided to grab his trusty 12-gauge shotgun, stand at about arm’s length away from the car and pull the trigger.

Now, as this man apparently didn’t know, firing buckshot at a rather solid object usually results in some of that buckshot bouncing back in the direction it came. It’s simple cause and effect, the theory of momentum, et cetera, et cetera. A mixture of buckshot and debris reflected off his car and struck him badly in both his legs, causing “severe but not life threatening” injuries (okay, so he didn’t almost kill himself, but that made for a more dramatic title). While his legs got the worst of it, he got hit as high as his chain.

Alcohol was not involved.

Now, I’ve never had to remove a tire or a wheel and have never tried to remove lug nuts, but I didn’t even know that using a shotgun was an option. I mean, how f**king stupid can you get?

*Image from The Huffington Post.